Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
