Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
