After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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