Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
