Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
ttyl tear gas
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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