"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
