he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Even my vagina gasped.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
