I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
