I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
