If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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