Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize
