D3 body, D1 cock
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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