I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
