did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
