the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize