I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
i think im in europe. pls send help
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
