and you said cock pushups were impossible
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
