so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
