She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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