You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
