CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
