when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize