lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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