Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
