Your face is a jimmy john
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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