Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
