if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize