Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
