So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
