Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
