i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
