This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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