Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
