Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
This is my gift to your gina
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
