we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Randomize
