You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
