gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
pray to the hookup gods
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