We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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