I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Dicks are not precious.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
