my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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