So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
