the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
