When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
