I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
