We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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