the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize