you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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