I heard we made out
kristin has been a bad kristin
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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