I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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