she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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