We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
