singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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