No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
