i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
